We Got Your Back, Kid

It's funny how different autism symptoms seem to ebb and flow.  And some stick around all the time. For example, sensory issues are always present with Charlie.  Sometimes the sensory difficulties are more glaringly obvious than other times, but it's always there.  Or having a tough time transitioning from one thing to another is a constant.  Troubles riding in a vehicle safely is getting better, but some days is tougher than others.

Being rigid (not being flexible in thinking or in plans) comes and goes.  Some days he can totally go with the flow, other days (or weeks) he has a hard time getting past certain things.  Right now we are on a hard upswing with rigidness.  The other day Easton and Christian found sticks outside that they made into magic wands.  They were practicing magic spells and having a grand time.  But Charlie was super upset because; 1- they had sticks in the house- therefore they were breaking the rules, and 2- they are sticks, not magic wands.  There was no wiggle room.  It was a totally black and white situation with no in-between.  Even after telling him that mom and dad told the boys they could have the sticks/wands in the house he wasn't convinced it was ok. This went on for several minutes before we could get him interested in something else.

Rigidness rears it's ugly head often.  It can show up when we take a left to go to church when we usually take a right at that corner.  It can show up when he's playing with his cars and they MUST be in a certain order when he lines them up.  Rigidness shows up when he wants to wear the same type of shirt every. single. day. (it gets interesting when mom hasn't had time to keep up on laundry).

Some days are really good and others not so much- just like anyone else in this world.  Knowing this means we'll keep working on it with him.  We'll keep working on problem solving when those tough moments pop up.  We'll keep helping him remember to use his coping skills in the hard moments.  And we'll be flexible if plans don't go according to how we thought they would.  It's not a big deal to us that our "normal" looks very different to everyone else's when we are out in the community.  

And as tough as these things are for us as parents to handle, think about how frustrating these things are for Charlie to live with.  No amount of frustration will ever be enough for me give up on my baby.  We'll keep trying because we love him and he deserves our best efforts.  We'll keep going places, because he needs to learn how to live in this world.  We'll keep doing new experiences because what is life without seeing the world around you.  Even if it is hard or frustrating (for all of us), we're not giving up.  Tyler and I are not about to back down.  Not now, not ever.  We got your back, kid.