Travel Necessary

I run an essential oil business.  I sell essential oils and teach people how to use them safely and effectively to improve their health and lifestyle.  Part of this means I travel a few times a year.  Being Charlie's person, when I travel this usually means he has a really hard time while I'm gone.  Typically we  have to start prepping him a week in advance and we have several tools he uses when mom is traveling.  We have a picture of me that Charlie carries around, a shirt I've worn that smells like me that he can sleep with, and most importantly....Sunny.  All the boys also know that they can call or FaceTime me any time they want to when I'm traveling, no matter the difference in time zones.

In the past my trips included numerous phone calls a day, lots of help from family and friends, constant meltdowns, frustrated text messages from Tyler, Charlie in tears, sleepless nights, and often left this mama in tears wherever I was, knowing my absence left everyone at home in such turmoil.  The last couple of trips I spent a lot of time talking with the boys before I left about where I was going, what I would be doing, how many days I would be gone, circling the day I come home on the calendar so they can have a countdown, and ensuring Charlie I would be home.  And because my work schedule is worked around the boys' school schedule, it often means Tyler takes off most or all of the week so he can be around to drop the boys off at school and pick them up each day.

This time, my mom was a huge blessing to us and was able to come to the house early each morning while Tyler went to work, she got the boys up and ready for the day and off to school each morning.  HUGE blessing.  Tyler was able to work an abbreviated work day each day and took off early to pick up the boys from school.  I got pictures and videos every morning of the boys getting ready for school and only one FaceTime call during the week.  And we know that Sunny has been instrumental in keeping Charlie even while I'm gone.  She's his constant, even when I'm gone.  She's warmth and deep pressure for him.  She's something to hold onto until I come home.

On the morning I was flying home I was texting my mom to get an update for the day.  And the best thing happened.  She responded with this....

I couldn't have been more excited.  Tears filled my eyes.  I knew it took a lot of work to get to this point.  And it will be ongoing work.  But at least we've gotten this far.  When I got home and hugged my boys I told them I was so proud of them for being so good and so helpful while I was gone.  I explained to them again that the trips I go on aren't vacations.  These trips are so mom can do her job and help people be healthier with essential oils.  I told them that because they are so good while mom is on these trips, they, too, are helping mom help people.

To all our family that helped out during this trip, a sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU!!  We couldn't do all of this without you guys.

Feeling Brave

We were feeling brave today.  The boys were off of school, Tyler was off of work and I worked a half day.  Our original plan was to try a movie at the theater again since it's been awhile since our last attempt.  The boys all needed haircuts so we decided to attempt that first with promise of lunch out and ice cream after.

We survived haircuts, barely.  Christian was having a lot of anxiety over his haircut and inconsolable at times.  Charlie did amazing considering how haircuts used to go for him, yay!  And Easton took them up on their offer on all the bells and whistles....haircut, massage, hair wash and warm towel!

We decided on lunch at Culver's, not far from the Barber Shop.  The boys like the food there and they can get a small dish of ice cream with their meal after they are done eating.  Lunch went spectacularly well!  We only had one awkward social interaction towards the end.  As we were leaving the booth we were sitting at, Charlie stood up on the seat to walk towards the end of the booth and casually patted the man sitting behind us on the head!  The man looked back at us and smiled.  I, of course, apologized.  Thankfully he was super sweet and said he had 5 grandkids and that nothing really phased him anymore.  

On to the movie! I was really hoping things would go smooth since the rest of our morning was going fairly well.  I felt since it was a Friday afternoon and other schools were in session, that we wouldn't have to hassle with a full theater.  Which was one reason we wanted to try to do this today.  Popcorn, check.  Movie tickets, check.  Let's do this! We chose the very back row because we know Charlie sometimes likes to stand up during the movie and move around. There were only a handful of other people in the theater with us, which is helpful.  5 minutes into the movie and Charlie was already bouncing in his seat, talking loudly, and moving constantly.  He was out in the hallway a couple of times for a drink and to get up and move around.  We rolled with it.  He wasn't bothering others yet.  But then about an hour into the movie and he's bouncing, moaning loudly, talking, and rolling out of his seat.  So, we tried something new.....

Yep, Sunny is sitting with Charlie on the movie theater seat.  She took up a seat and a half since she's so big, but since we had the whole back row to ourselves, it really didn't matter.  She was marvelous and it really helped Charlie for a little while.  I think the deep pressure from Sunny laying on Charlie's lap helped to calm him a bit and help him focus on the movie.  But it didn't last forever.  About 15-20 minutes until the end and he couldn't be persuaded to stay in the theater.  Charlie, Sunny and I left to go wait in the lobby for everyone else.  In the lobby he had the space to do what he needed; walk, roam, spin.  I could tell you the gist of the movie, but there would be large gaps in my re-telling.  Instead, the real life scenario before my eyes was what needed to be focused on.  We know movie theaters are tough for Charlie.  We haven't had a trip to the theater go well yet.  But we plan to keep trying.  We won't give up.  

Don't Forget Us

Many of you who read our posts might know how difficult it is for our family to go out and do certain activities.  Maybe you've read some of our stories about being out and about and how those outings just didn't go well.  Or maybe you've heard us mention how we want to try an activity, but we know that it won't work for us.  Because some things are too overwhelming for Charlie.  Places can be really loud or have way too many people which can easily send Charlie into a meltdown.  And when that happens, we're pretty much done.

But I'm sure you've heard us also say that we aren't giving up.  We continue to go out and do different activities as much as possible.  We keep trying new things because we know that in order for Charlie to be successful in life, all of our boys for that matter, he will need to know how to handle different situations.  He'll need to learn how to use his coping skills.  And he'll need to learn how to push himself.

Just like any other family, we like to feel connected to our community.  We like to feel connected to our family and friends.  Some of our outings are harder than others and we may have a few more challenges than others, but don't forget us.  We still like to be involved in things.  Over the years we've noticed invitations to do things with others have gradually declined.  We're not sure if it's because people know it's difficult for us to get out sometimes, or maybe they're not sure how to help when they're out and about with us and we need to deal with a meltdown?  Either way, we still want to be included.  

Yes, we come with a big dog nowadays, but if you take the time to get to know Sunny, you'll see she's the sweetest thing ever.  She's really quite unobtrusive- most of the time people don't even know she's there.  She doesn't chew on your rug, she doesn't bark, but she might give you the biggest puppy dog eyes you've ever seen.  Plus, she's part of Charlie.  And if you love Charlie, you love all of him.  Also, ask questions to better understand.  Invite us to that gathering at the park, or invite Tyler and I out for dinner or a night out.  If we decline, ask again next time.