Anxiety

Anxiety, we see it spike more at different times of the year with Charlie.  Holiday times we definitely see a rise in anxiety.  We've seen it growing for over a week now.  The anticipation, the expectations, the excitement, and specifically going to other people's houses- this one he's actually vocalized in the past week about what he doesn't like about holidays.  This is huge. It's hard for Charlie to 1- identify what bothers him and 2- be able to vocalize it to someone else.

Charlie's anxiety comes out in different ways such as hyper focus on different items or activities.  For example, the past few days he has overly focused on his dominoes and cars. Lining them up just as he wants them.  Not much can tear him away from these items when he's super focused on them.  Anxiety can show up as an increase in meltdowns or an increase in sensory issues.  Anxiety can show up in lessened communication- not being able to voice his thoughts or carry on a reciprocal conversation.  This is already difficult on a good day, it's even worse when anxiety is high.  Anxiety can show up as a disruption of sleep- often for more than one night.  And sometimes anxiety shows up as all of these things all at once.

This is what we do:
We stay calm.  We try to implement a sensory diet (heavy lifting, climbing, wrapping/hugging tight, deep pressure, swinging, brushing, etc).  Sometimes we need to get sneaky in trying to get these things into his day since he can be a little resistant.  We get Sunny involved as much as possible- we have her do as much deep pressure work as he'll tolerate (Sunny lays on him to provide deep pressure), or we get Charlie involved in training tasks to help take his mind off of whatever is bothering him.  We also stick to routine as much as we can (which is already lacking since he doesn't have his normal routine of school/home/therapies) and we talk about our schedule- a lot.  Even during the day we give lots of forewarnings on what's coming next.  We do countdowns a lot to help Charlie transition to the next event.  For example: "In a half an hour we are leaving for Church" and then a little later "In ten minutes I need you to get your shoes on." Ten minutes later we ask him to get his shoes on and then tell him we will be leaving in 5 minutes.  We do these countdowns for a lot of things.  We offer snuggles and we offer breaks.  Especially when we are at someone's house or in a busy place, we offer breaks in a quiet area with Sunny to do some deep pressure therapy.  Sometimes he takes them, sometimes he doesn't and sometimes we insist.  It's all up to what he wants/needs.  But since he doesn't always vocalize what/when he needs something, we are always checking in with him.

For the last month he's had his own calendar that he can write on, color on or check the days off.  We have our schedule written down on the calendar and what he can expect on which days.  He knows we go to other people's houses during holidays.  Unfortunately there is no way around this.  But we have a system set up that we've stuck to since the boys were babies.  Everyone we visit is family and Charlie loves each and every one of them, but it's a lot for him.  Many times he is able to hold it together while we are at someone's house, but the minute we get into the truck to go home he lets it all go.  Tyler and I know we are Charlie's safe place, which is why he saves it all for us. And Charlie knows we love him unconditionally.