Not Just Any Dog

When we started looking into a service dog for Charlie we researched and researched different avenues, different training groups, funding, you name it.  We looked at no less than 10 different training groups to see if we were eligible to get a dog from them or if they would make a good fit with us.  We searched from Minnesota to Oregon, Oklahoma to Tennessee.  The only group that seemed like a good fit was a group in Minnesota called Can Do Canines.  So we made the decision to put Charlie's name on their wait list knowing that we needed to start the process even though our family dog was still alive at that time and helping Charlie. At the time we applied, we were told the wait list would likely be close to 2 years.  Can Do Canines needed more funding, more dogs and trainers for their Autism Support Dogs.

So we began the wait.  A little over a year on the wait list and our family dog, Tank, passed away at almost 13 years old.  Over the years Tank had became Charlie's best friend, his anchor.  We quickly saw a decline in Charlie after Tank was gone and we became nervous.  We knew Tank made a difference with Charlie but we didn't know the huge impact he had with him.  We contacted Can Do Canines to see where we were on the wait list and were told that we were #86 on the list and it would likely take another 2 years before our name would be at the top.  Not much we could do but continue to wait.  

Fortunately we found Mike Burkel a year ago and we were quickly able to change our plans and start training Sunny almost immediately.  We knew a service dog would be great for Charlie, but we didn't know the life changer it would be- not only for Charlie, but for our whole family.  Charlie is able to sleep better when Sunny sleeps with him, he can do car rides with ease, eating out at a restaurant is manageable and going into stores isn't as big of a challenge as they used to be.  These are just a few things that Sunny has made a huge difference with in Charlie's every day life.

Since Autism Awareness Month started a few days ago I've seen numerous articles and videos on all the websites and pages I follow.  This video I saw today grabbed my heart.  We know exactly how this family feels- it seems we've walked a similar road.  Even though we didn't get Sunny from Can Do Canines, they continue to serve others on the Spectrum with highly trained dogs.  These dogs are making a huge difference for these families.  They're not just any dog. 

Watch the video here:   https://youtu.be/1Y8azgYp4C8


On another note....someone is celebrating her 2nd birthday today!  Happy birthday Sunny!!  We are so happy you are with us and you've quickly become an important part of our family!

Autism Awareness

April is Autism Awareness Month and April 2nd is National Autism Awareness Day.  I read an article yesterday by a woman who was upset that April is set aside for Autism.  Her reasoning is that she was upset that anyone would want to celebrate Autism.  As an Autism mom, she didn't understand why anyone would want to celebrate the struggles and chaos that typically surrounds the diagnosis.   I closed out the article feeling torn.

As a fellow Autism mom I could totally relate to what she was saying- the struggles, the endless days of meltdowns and torn up house, head banging, crying, screaming, the constant rigidness, sensory issues, sleeplessness, etc.  But I also disagreed with her.  April isn't Autism Celebration Month, it's Autism AWARENESS Month and I think that's exactly what our society needs more of.  And that's exactly what we strive for in writing this blog.  We want people to understand Autism more and what our family goes through on a daily basis.  We want people to know why we chose a Service Dog for our son and how Sunny helps Charlie constantly, every day (even if sometimes it looks like she's just sitting there).  We want people to know that Autism might look different on every child/adult who has Autism.  We want people to know how they can help, how they can interact with our kiddos and include them in social situations- even if it might be a bit challenging.

We want people to know we see the stares when we're in public and if you're going to make any comments, helpful/caring comments are best rather than judgmental comments.  We want people to know our kiddos are amazing- they are smart, funny, creative, beautiful kids and want to be loved and included just like everyone else.  We want people to know we want to help people understand more about Autism so that it doesn't seem so foreign or scary.  We know some of the things we do with our kiddos are unconventional or may seem odd- but for them it's exactly what they need.  We personally incorporate sensory activities into our daily schedule for Charlie because we know he feels better and can stay more regulated when we do.

Hard to tell, but we incorporated sensory activities in our Easter Egg hunt on Sunday- the boys needed to use our climbing wall to get some of their eggs!  Charlie's left hand is about to grab an egg in this picture. 

Charlie was excited to dye Easter eggs for about 3 seconds until he realized he had to get messy.  You can see here he only dyed one side of his egg so he didn't need to touch the dyed Cool Whip!

So don't be surprised if you see a lot of posts from us in the coming days/weeks.  Because we're going to be present during Autism AWARENESS Month to help educate people for better understanding and acceptance.  And we invite you to ask questions!  We don't take offense to any questions asked because with questions we know what people need to know more of!!  We're pretty open about our Autism journey.  Join us!!  You can comment here on the blog, email: kayla.king17@gmail.com, or I'm also on Facebook and Instagram: EssentialKings.

I'm His Person

Ever since Charlie was a baby it was clear he preferred mom over anyone else.  Most moms would probably agree their child is the same, most babies want their mama.  But with Charlie it never changed.  It never eased up as he got older.  When I'm gone for long periods of time Charlie has a hard time regulating himself.  He becomes increasingly agitated, not able to express what's going on verbally and eventually breaks down into full on meltdown mode.  It's to the point where it's hard for me to be gone for a couple hours to run some errands on my own.  It' has become evident over the years that I am his person.  Kind of like a security blanket for some kiddos, that's me for Charlie, a big 'ol security blanket.

literally laying on me after a tough morning last week- I had been gone for 24 hours

I'm the one he's constantly searching for, the one he seeks out for comfort and regulation.  Many days it's him being physically on me or touching me in some way to have contact and comfort.  I love this sweet boy beyond measure, but let me tell you....some days it's hard being his person.  Some days it's down right exhausting.

We're constantly working on various coping skills he can use to regulate.  And we're doing extra planning this entire week that leads up to me being gone for a 5 day business trip.  You see, we can't just plan to be gone and let the boys know about it a day or so in advance like most people would.  Any type of absence requires lots of planning and prep.  If we don't do the planning and prep, Charlie is miserable the entire time and maybe even a few days after the trip is done.

I leave next Sunday and return Thursday and we have already started prepping Charlie.  Tyler will be home with him and his brothers, but that's not the same.  We have the calendar marked so he can check off the days until mom's return.  We talk with him often (even do social stories) of what the schedule will be like during the week I'm gone.  If you've read some of my other posts you know Charlie is big on routine and schedule.  We remind him to utilize Sunny when he's feeling sad.  Charlie usually picks out one of my shirts to use for comfort when I'm gone.  We remind him that he can call or FaceTime me whenever he wants to.  I'm accessible as much as possible during business trips.  We keep his schedule as close to normal as possible so he knows what to expect- this includes his therapy sessions throughout the week where his counselors can help him work through any frustrations.  And I will be contacting his teachers and supports at school to let them know I'll be gone so they can recognize and help if there's any trouble that pops up while at school.  All of this, just for a business trip (a necessity to keep my business thriving).  It's the same even for a quick day or two away.  This is why it's hard for Tyler and I to get away just the two of us.  Most of the time Charlie is so dysregulated by the time we come home, or after we come home, it's not even worth it to go on a quick get-away.  Autism makes normal activities harder.

grabbing some comfort during a busy and loud church event

But, in the meantime, we'll do as much prep work and planning as possible and make the best of what's to come next week.

This weekend we were able to get out and enjoy the nicer weather.  The boys loved running around for hours outside....and so did Sunny.

huge smiles all around as they splash in the mud and puddles

She follows him wherever he goes