I'm His Person

Ever since Charlie was a baby it was clear he preferred mom over anyone else.  Most moms would probably agree their child is the same, most babies want their mama.  But with Charlie it never changed.  It never eased up as he got older.  When I'm gone for long periods of time Charlie has a hard time regulating himself.  He becomes increasingly agitated, not able to express what's going on verbally and eventually breaks down into full on meltdown mode.  It's to the point where it's hard for me to be gone for a couple hours to run some errands on my own.  It' has become evident over the years that I am his person.  Kind of like a security blanket for some kiddos, that's me for Charlie, a big 'ol security blanket.

literally laying on me after a tough morning last week- I had been gone for 24 hours

I'm the one he's constantly searching for, the one he seeks out for comfort and regulation.  Many days it's him being physically on me or touching me in some way to have contact and comfort.  I love this sweet boy beyond measure, but let me tell you....some days it's hard being his person.  Some days it's down right exhausting.

We're constantly working on various coping skills he can use to regulate.  And we're doing extra planning this entire week that leads up to me being gone for a 5 day business trip.  You see, we can't just plan to be gone and let the boys know about it a day or so in advance like most people would.  Any type of absence requires lots of planning and prep.  If we don't do the planning and prep, Charlie is miserable the entire time and maybe even a few days after the trip is done.

I leave next Sunday and return Thursday and we have already started prepping Charlie.  Tyler will be home with him and his brothers, but that's not the same.  We have the calendar marked so he can check off the days until mom's return.  We talk with him often (even do social stories) of what the schedule will be like during the week I'm gone.  If you've read some of my other posts you know Charlie is big on routine and schedule.  We remind him to utilize Sunny when he's feeling sad.  Charlie usually picks out one of my shirts to use for comfort when I'm gone.  We remind him that he can call or FaceTime me whenever he wants to.  I'm accessible as much as possible during business trips.  We keep his schedule as close to normal as possible so he knows what to expect- this includes his therapy sessions throughout the week where his counselors can help him work through any frustrations.  And I will be contacting his teachers and supports at school to let them know I'll be gone so they can recognize and help if there's any trouble that pops up while at school.  All of this, just for a business trip (a necessity to keep my business thriving).  It's the same even for a quick day or two away.  This is why it's hard for Tyler and I to get away just the two of us.  Most of the time Charlie is so dysregulated by the time we come home, or after we come home, it's not even worth it to go on a quick get-away.  Autism makes normal activities harder.

grabbing some comfort during a busy and loud church event

But, in the meantime, we'll do as much prep work and planning as possible and make the best of what's to come next week.

This weekend we were able to get out and enjoy the nicer weather.  The boys loved running around for hours outside....and so did Sunny.

huge smiles all around as they splash in the mud and puddles

She follows him wherever he goes