Guards Down

We need to remember not to forget. But we did momentarily. We let our guard down. We forgot how hard it is for Charlie to be away from mom. I didn’t realize how long it had been since mom had a night out. 

I ended up going to see my childhood friend yesterday afternoon and then spent the night catching up. I was gone for exactly 20 hours. Less than a day. I haven’t done anything like that in several years. I gave all the boys a heads up earlier in the week that mom was going to be gone for the night. But I forgot to properly prep Charlie. 

Charlie needs ample time to process a change in routine like this. He needs to be told more than once about the change. He needs to know all the details; what time mom will leave, what he will do while mom is gone, what time mom will return, etc. He needs reassurance mom will return, he needs it marked on the calendar, he needs a reminder to utilize Sunny if he’s upset and sometimes he needs something of mom’s to hang on to while I’m gone. 

I’m his person and when his person is gone it throws his entire universe upside down. 

But I forgot. I forgot how much prep he needs. We’ve been out of practice for some time now and I let my guard down. 

To say the night was difficult at home would be an understatement. Dad does everything he can to smooth things over, but in Charlie’s eyes, he’s not mom.  

The night entailed several FaceTime calls with reassurance, virtual hugs and kisses and lots of love. It’s just not the same as in person. I reminded Charlie over and over I’d be home right away in the morning. 

I held true to my word. Everything is right in the world again.