I'm His Person

Ever since Charlie was a baby it was clear he preferred mom over anyone else.  Most moms would probably agree their child is the same, most babies want their mama.  But with Charlie it never changed.  It never eased up as he got older.  When I'm gone for long periods of time Charlie has a hard time regulating himself.  He becomes increasingly agitated, not able to express what's going on verbally and eventually breaks down into full on meltdown mode.  It's to the point where it's hard for me to be gone for a couple hours to run some errands on my own.  It' has become evident over the years that I am his person.  Kind of like a security blanket for some kiddos, that's me for Charlie, a big 'ol security blanket.

literally laying on me after a tough morning last week- I had been gone for 24 hours

I'm the one he's constantly searching for, the one he seeks out for comfort and regulation.  Many days it's him being physically on me or touching me in some way to have contact and comfort.  I love this sweet boy beyond measure, but let me tell you....some days it's hard being his person.  Some days it's down right exhausting.

We're constantly working on various coping skills he can use to regulate.  And we're doing extra planning this entire week that leads up to me being gone for a 5 day business trip.  You see, we can't just plan to be gone and let the boys know about it a day or so in advance like most people would.  Any type of absence requires lots of planning and prep.  If we don't do the planning and prep, Charlie is miserable the entire time and maybe even a few days after the trip is done.

I leave next Sunday and return Thursday and we have already started prepping Charlie.  Tyler will be home with him and his brothers, but that's not the same.  We have the calendar marked so he can check off the days until mom's return.  We talk with him often (even do social stories) of what the schedule will be like during the week I'm gone.  If you've read some of my other posts you know Charlie is big on routine and schedule.  We remind him to utilize Sunny when he's feeling sad.  Charlie usually picks out one of my shirts to use for comfort when I'm gone.  We remind him that he can call or FaceTime me whenever he wants to.  I'm accessible as much as possible during business trips.  We keep his schedule as close to normal as possible so he knows what to expect- this includes his therapy sessions throughout the week where his counselors can help him work through any frustrations.  And I will be contacting his teachers and supports at school to let them know I'll be gone so they can recognize and help if there's any trouble that pops up while at school.  All of this, just for a business trip (a necessity to keep my business thriving).  It's the same even for a quick day or two away.  This is why it's hard for Tyler and I to get away just the two of us.  Most of the time Charlie is so dysregulated by the time we come home, or after we come home, it's not even worth it to go on a quick get-away.  Autism makes normal activities harder.

grabbing some comfort during a busy and loud church event

But, in the meantime, we'll do as much prep work and planning as possible and make the best of what's to come next week.

This weekend we were able to get out and enjoy the nicer weather.  The boys loved running around for hours outside....and so did Sunny.

huge smiles all around as they splash in the mud and puddles

She follows him wherever he goes

Vacation Practice

With our son Charlie, we find ourselves practicing a lot of things with him to make certain tasks more familiar, more commonplace so these tasks aren't so overwhelming for him.  And last weekend we practiced something BIG.  We had an amazing opportunity to practice traveling by plane.  Air travel is definitely not something we have done with the boys, but we'd like to be able to do this in the future.  And we want to be as prepared as possible when that time comes.

A couple months ago we were told about a program that the Minneapolis airport does each month in partnership with different agencies in the Twin Cities that allow Autism families to have an airport experience and allow the kids to see what it is like to go to the airport and travel by plane (the plane you board doesn't leave the ground).  The program is free and families can participate as many times as they'd like.  The program starts with families checking in and meeting their volunteer/leader.  Each family has their own personal volunteer for the duration of the visit to the airport.  This, alone, was so great.  The boys were first given social story cards on a lanyard so they could easily see what to expect on each step of our adventure. This was brilliant!!

The volunteer started out by taking us to security where we had our own personal TSA agent to guide us through the security process.  They were really great with the boys and made the whole process really smooth.  We got to see how they handle service dogs through security as well.  Sunny did well going through the metal detector and nothing seemed to phase her.

Once through security our volunteer, Peg, showed us where the observation deck was located.  This is a small tower that anyone can go into and watch the airplanes land and take off.  It's a small, quiet space for anyone with long layovers to relax.  Also a perfect spot for any kiddo with sensory issues who find the airport overwhelming or loud.  The boys were able to see a plane land while we were in there!

After the observation deck we made our way to the gate where we would board our plane.  The boys LOVED the moving sidewalks and thought they were even cooler than escalators, which, up until Saturday, was the most fun thing you could ever ride on.

We got to our gate a few minutes early and the boys were able to meet the pilot who would help us on the plane.  We found out this pilot has a 17 year old son with Autism and was a wealth of knowledge for all the families in attendance.

Just before we boarded the plane, one of the flight attendants got on the intercom and made a pre-boarding announcement just like they would for any regular flight.  She announced we'd be taking a trip to Funville, USA and at that time the pilot also gave some background on the Navigating MSP program.  The boys were super patient and did a great job waiting.

Once inside the plane we found our seats.  The boys each fastened their seatbelt and looked at the information cards in the seat-backs in front of them.  We quickly learned just how big Sunny is and that we need to work on getting her to tuck as tightly as possible in order to fit beneath the seat in front of us.

The boys did musical chairs at one point and found where they were most comfy.  While we were aboard the plane, the plane stayed where it was.  This was a way for each family to see what the process is like and get their special needs kids more acquainted with the process and what to expect.  The pilot again spoke to the group and gave tips on flying with their kids and different aspects to keep in mind.  The nerd in me wished I'd had a pen and paper to take notes, but luckily I could jot a few reminders in my phone.  The pilot gave some great pointers on things to do to prepare for your trip as well as some tips to keep in mind during the actual flight.

We tried to keep Charlie  busy while the pilot talked.....

....but he started getting a little overwhelmed

And then one of the highlights of the day (ok, maybe one of Mom's highlights of the day)- the boys got to tour the cockpit of the airplane!  I think they were a little in awe of it all because they were pretty quiet.  And if you know our boys, you know quiet isn't something that happens a lot!

I think they're impressed

While we were in the cockpit, the pilot offered to talk with us at the end and give us some pointers on flying with a service dog.  We totally took him up on that offer.  We got off the plane and waited for the pilot in the boarding area.  The boys were surprised with a huge bag full of goodies supplied by the Navigating MSP program and it's partners.  In the bag were stuffed airplanes, coloring books, a snack, bottled water, stress balls, wooden planes to assemble and play with, and stuffed bears.  They were also given certificates that says they're ready to fly and wings to pin on their shirts.  By this time the boys were getting a little tired and restless so these goodies were given at the perfect time to distract them.  When the pilot was done he gladly walked with us as we made our way out of the airport.  He gave us invaluable tips on traveling with Sunny and things to do before any trips to the airport that will make our airport experience a breeze.  I could have hugged this pilot for being so generous with his time and experience.

As we made our way out of the airport there was one more stop we had to check out before leaving for the day....

....the indoor doggie potty area.  We found out most larger airports have these available for service animals so we thought we'd check it out and let Sunny explore.  They even had a fake fire hydrant to make it a little more appealing.  Let's just say Sunny wasn't a fan.


We had a full day, but what an amazing experience this was.  We highly recommend this for any Autism families.  We gained so many tips and the boys all got to see what to expect when we actually go on a flight.  Families can utilize this program as many times as they want to.  Our volunteer advised us to come back again closer to when we know we have a trip planned so it's fresh in Charlie's mind and to ease any anxiety over flying or being at the airport.

Here is the link to the Navigating MSP program for anyone wanting to check it out.  Amazing program, amazing people and wonderful volunteers.
https://www.ausm.org/events/ausm-events/navigating-msp-airport.html