The Special Needs Hole

 There is a graphic online that I've seen several times that accurately reflects the life of a special needs parent.  

Let me be clear, I can't speak for all special needs parents, but I think a lot of people can agree with this graphic.  As a special needs parent it's easy to fall into the special needs "hole."  Or as we call it in our house, the autism hole.  I'll admit I fall into this hole more often than I'd like.    

If you're not familiar with the special needs hole or the autism hole, let me tell you about it.  The autism hole is sitting in the unknown- unknown what the future holds for your child- will they walk, will they talk, will they be able to shower independently some day, will they eventually be able to dress themselves without help, will they be able to drive, have a job or live independently as an adult?  So many unknowns in the autism hole.  

When you're in the autism hole it's constant anxiety about behaviors, eating habits (or lack thereof), sleeping habits (or again, lack thereof), social skills, whether to medicate or not, aggression, medical concerns, comparisons to other kids, the meltdowns or which therapies will be best and how to juggle that darn schedule.  

The autism hole sucks you in and makes it hard to see the light.  This hole makes it hard to look past where your child currently is rather than celebrate and marvel at how far they've come.  The autism hole covers you with the hard and the stress.  This hole makes you believe you'll sit in there forever and never be able to crawl out.  

As a special needs parent, this hole is inevitable. 

It's ok to sit in that hole once in awhile.  Every parent does.  But don't stay there long.  Even I need to remember that advice from time to time.  

Remember there are people who are willing to help you crawl out, those who have been in that same hole and can help you to see the light. Take hold of their hand and don't let go.  And maybe some day you can be the one to extend your hand to someone else who is in that hole.