Never Ever Give Up

Dear Autism Moms and Dads,
We're not so different, you and I.  I imagine our days are filled with similar struggles, similar frustrations, similar fears.  Sure, our kiddos might have different diagnosis or fall in different areas on the autism spectrum, but at the end of the day we can relate to one another more so than a lot of other parents can.  With that being said, from one autism parent to another, I hope you can take this message to heart; never ever give up.

You see, my husband and I have been on this autism journey for 4 years.  Well, 4 years diagnosed, 8 years total.  And we've learned a thing or two along the way.  In the early years it's hard to see past the exhaustion.  Our son Charlie was so needy as an infant.  He was always fussy and wasn't content unless he was constantly held and moving.  It was even harder because we could see the glaring difference between him and his twin brother.  They were polar opposites, and actually still are to this day.  And he rarely slept.  Good golly, the sleep deprivation was enough to drive someone batty.  He actually didn't sleep through the night until he was 4 years old and even then it was hit or miss.  Even today sleep is still tough, but slowly getting better.

We know all about the delays to hit milestones, the early intervention appointments, even PT/OT at a young age.  All of this before we even knew what we were dealing with.  We've been told so many things by different professionals; that he possibly had Cerebral Palsy (early on-which was false), that he couldn't possibly have autism because he made eye contact and because he was social, or (my favorite) that my husband and I just needed to learn how to interact with Charlie and things would be fine (insert eye roll here).

Boy, do we know about meltdowns, and trouble going out in public, and traveling, or something as simple as walking safely in a parking lot, or even just riding safely in a vehicle.  We've experienced all of it.  We've experienced how brutally hard and stressful it all can be.  We've experienced the ups and the downs- the autism rollercoaster as some people call it.  But despite the excruciatingly hard days, we push on.  We keep going to the therapy appointments and practicing skills.  We keep trying outings in public, or eating at restaurants.  We keep trying different tactics to make riding in a vehicle easier, we always practice different skills to make meltdowns less intense and not last as long.  And we keep practicing coping skills, constantly.  And guess what??  It's paying off.

Mamas and dads, don't give up.  Even though some days may be 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, don't give up.  Never ever give up, because all of the hard work, the long days, the long nights, the countless hours of therapy, is paying off and it's so, so worth it.  We are seeing more and more wins, some that have completely blown us away.  We have been able to do things as a family that we never thought would be possible.  We have big goals for our family this year.  Some of them may work out, some of them might not, but we're going to try anyway.

Our kids are amazing, brilliant and so incredibly resilient.  They are capable of so much more than we know.  So, on those hard days, wipe those tears, keep pushing on and never ever give up.  There is so much good in store for the future.