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Sunday, May 26, 2019

A Letter to Our Neighbors



Dear Neighbors,
You may know us personally or you may know us as the family with the three very active boys and the German Shepherd.  What you may not know is that one of our boys has autism and our family functions a little differently than most.  We know the weather is starting to get nicer, people have their windows open and are spending more time outside.  I want to apologize if your relaxing evening on your deck is interrupted by intermittent screaming or an autism meltdown.  We don't mean to break the silence.  But we don't ever know when to expect a meltdown to hit.  In fact, it's a daily guessing game that we lose constantly.



This time of year is a big time of transitions.  The weather is changing, school is winding down, there's the anticipation of a Summer nanny and lots of time outdoors and in fresh air.  There's the change of a daily school routine to a more relaxed routine at home.  Transitions are very hard for Charlie and he starts feeling these transitions way before any of the rest of us do.  And when he feels the transitions starting, behavior changes and meltdowns increase.

Don't be alarmed if you see us running after our child on the sidewalk (or sometimes even down the middle of the road), chances are he's running after mom because he doesn't want her to leave. Ever.

If you see us in the yard or on the deck trying to do a haircut- that's exactly what we're doing, a haircut.  I assure you we are not harming him although he makes it sound like we are.

You may hear us prompting Charlie repeatedly or asking him to do the same task over and over.  It's not that he's being defiant or not listening.  It's just that he gets easily distracted and will sometimes forget what he's supposed to be doing.



Don't worry if you hear a child screaming and crying in our house for long periods of time.  Sometimes meltdowns can last hours.  There could be many reasons why this is happening; it could be a tough transition, a change of plans that he doesn't understand, the weather, having a hard time socially with the other kids in the neighborhood, he may want to go to the park for the 400th time today, or because the grass is green.  Sometimes we have no idea what brings a meltdown on, but usually it's because he's trying to figure out how to regulate his emotions.

Charlie has a team of therapists that work with him each week to work on different aspects of life that are harder for him.  Things like how to play appropriately with other kids his age, how to recognize and manage his emotions, how to respond to other people's emotions, eating, how to play games, and how to be in the community.  So when you see various people coming and going from our house numerous times a week, it's therapy.  With this being said, if Charlie is ever playing with your kids and it appears he's struggling or having a hard time playing or interacting with the other kids, please come get Tyler or I and we can help.



Yes, we have a big German Shepherd but you should know she's different than most family pets.  She's Charlie's trained service dog to help alleviate symptoms of autism.  Sometimes you might see us involving Sunny in activities with Charlie in the yard.  Don't be alarmed if you see Sunny laying on top of Charlie.  She isn't hurting him.  Charlie often needs deep pressure therapy to calm down or regulate and Sunny provides that deep pressure to him by laying on top of him.  If you see Sunny trying to put Charlie's arm/hand in her mouth, she isn't trying to bite him.  She will often try to get his attention or lead him to where she wants him to be by putting her mouth gently on his arm.  She actually has a big job to do.  So if you see her lounging on the deck in the sun, know she's off-duty and doing one of her favorite activities.  Please know she is the kindest, most gentle dog and she won't hurt you or your children.


We love our neighborhood and know many of you personally.  We love that the kids on our street play so well together and we look forward to meeting some of the newbies on the block.  Just be aware that our family works differently than most.  We love our boys more than anything, but some of the sounds that come out of our house show just how much autism takes over.  We are open about our life.  If you have questions about autism or service dogs, just ask.  We are usually more than willing to share!

Sincerely,
Tyler & Kayla King

1 comment:

  1. I think it is awesome that you are so open with your neighbors. My son had ADHD in the 90s when he was growing up and I wish people would have understood better that when he played with other kids. They just looked at him like he did the things on purpose to make someone mad. I have said it before but you are really good parents.

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