Guards Down

We need to remember not to forget. But we did momentarily. We let our guard down. We forgot how hard it is for Charlie to be away from mom. I didn’t realize how long it had been since mom had a night out. 

I ended up going to see my childhood friend yesterday afternoon and then spent the night catching up. I was gone for exactly 20 hours. Less than a day. I haven’t done anything like that in several years. I gave all the boys a heads up earlier in the week that mom was going to be gone for the night. But I forgot to properly prep Charlie. 

Charlie needs ample time to process a change in routine like this. He needs to be told more than once about the change. He needs to know all the details; what time mom will leave, what he will do while mom is gone, what time mom will return, etc. He needs reassurance mom will return, he needs it marked on the calendar, he needs a reminder to utilize Sunny if he’s upset and sometimes he needs something of mom’s to hang on to while I’m gone. 

I’m his person and when his person is gone it throws his entire universe upside down. 

But I forgot. I forgot how much prep he needs. We’ve been out of practice for some time now and I let my guard down. 

To say the night was difficult at home would be an understatement. Dad does everything he can to smooth things over, but in Charlie’s eyes, he’s not mom.  

The night entailed several FaceTime calls with reassurance, virtual hugs and kisses and lots of love. It’s just not the same as in person. I reminded Charlie over and over I’d be home right away in the morning. 

I held true to my word. Everything is right in the world again. 

Something to be Thankful

It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without an article on being thankful would it?  Right.  So here it goes....

It's true there's so much to be thankful for each and every day of the year.  But lately I've been thinking about how grateful I am for one specific and important person in my life.  My husband Tyler.  And if you think "oh great, here comes the sappy post", you are absolutely right.  It might.  The sap may drip a bit heavy here.  Bare with me. 

I'm not sure where I'd be without him in this crazy life.  Especially when life seems upside down and sideways.  He works incredibly hard to make sure his family is taken care of and he is quite the amazing dad to our boys.  

He's the builder, the fixer, the maker and master snuggler.  He's our adventure leader, creativity director, think-outside-of-the-box guy and makes us laugh every single day.

But even more importantly he stands right next to me through the good and bad, encourages me when I don't think I can take one more step and holds me up when I can't stand anymore. 

Life would certainly be less adventurous, not as funny and unbearable without him.   

Cheers to our crazy life, babe.  Thank you for being by my side throughout it all.  Love you.

All I want For Christmas

It's that time of year where family is hounding me for Christmas gift ideas.  There's a slight problem...

1- I don't have time to shop or pick things out for myself and 2- It's hard for me to come up with ideas.  I'm a pretty easy going person who doesn't need a lot.  Give me some wine and some Netflix binging without kids and I'm golden.  But then I got to thinking about it and there really are some things I would like.

A full night of sleep.  I'm pretty sure my body is incapable of ever sleeping a full night again.  After 10 years of not sleeping I think my body has just given up.  Well, hello 4am, I'm sorry but I think we need to stop seeing each other.  

A lifetime supply of coffee.  Need I say more?

A laundry attendant.  Why do we have so many clothes?!  I can't be the only one who has considered moving to a nudist colony.

A personal chef.  I don't know about you, but I'm so tired of cooking.  Everyday.  Multiple times a day.  I'm over it.  

And

A crystal ball.  I don't need to know everything that is going to happen in the future, but I would like to know when something completely unexpected is coming.  You know, the kind of things that come completely out of left field that throws you off your game?  Yeah, we've had our fair share over here.  The most recent one has me reeling, a little baffled and also wondering how next to put one foot in front of the other to keep going.  But I will.  Because that's life, right?  That's what we do.  There's no giving up.  No matter how exhausted we are, we keep going.  We keep putting one foot in front of the other.  

My list isn't terrible.  It's also not realistic, but one can dream.