The Busy Season

 We've been a busy bunch over here lately.  So busy that I haven't had a moment for any new posts.  I thought with Fall would come a slower more relaxed schedule, but I was wrong.  Yes, we've had more weekends home since we are done camping for the year.  But that just means our weekend time is filled with other things like home projects, organizing, winter prep, meal planning, grocery shopping and billions of loads of laundry.  

We have found our weekends are busy with normal life happenings because we just don't have the time to do them during our busy weekdays.  When we decided to homeschool this year I knew our days would be filled, especially since I still need to work.  During the week my mornings start with work for a couple of hours at 6am with the remainder of the morning filled with school work with the boys.  This is time that is wholly devoted to them.  They get my undivided attention, as they should.  During this time with the boys my work computer is turned off, work phone muted and cell phone set to silent and put away out of sight.  Then comes lunch followed by an afternoon full of work from home.  This is time that I'm engaged with work tasks, meetings, client engagement, and paperwork while simultaneously juggling stuff going on with the boys.  They are old enough to entertain themselves for large periods of time, but occasionally they have questions or need help with something- like refereeing fights conflict resolution.  By the time evening rolls around it's dinner time with the boys and usually followed by games, free time or reading with them.  By the time they are in bed, Tyler and I are exhausted and ready for bed ourselves.  

Overall homeschooling is going well.  I think our good days have outweighed the challenging days.  The boys are usually pretty engaged in their lessons each day.  I've learned that all my boys are hands on learners and do best when they are seeing and doing.  They love science and are fascinated with history.  Math is their least favorite and while they like learning cursive they don't love taking the time to practice.  We all enjoy the routine we've created for ourselves, which is super important, especially to Charlie.  Our routine helps him to be comfortable with our day and helps him to know what to expect which in turn lessens anxiety and meltdowns.  Sunny plays an important part in our days at home.  She listens to reading lessons, lays on Charlie's lap for deep pressure when he's stressed during math, and is always willing to snuggle during quiet time.  

We also enjoy having flexibility in our days.  A few weeks ago, after one especially stressful day we took the time the following day to spend outside in the beautiful Fall weather hiking and exploring the woods.  One day last week we were glad to be able to take a break from school to help a neighbor rake and bag their leaves before the snow started falling.  These are both good examples of invaluable lessons that are just as important to learn as academics: take the time for self care and de-stress as well as serve others in need of help.  

With Covid restrictions we have very little else going on.  We don't have our usual church or school activities throughout the week.  But one thing we kept the same is Easton's hockey.  He wanted to play again this year and in trying to keep some normalcy in our life, decided to let him play.  Hockey started a few weeks ago and as of yesterday, Tyler was asked to be head coach of Easton's team.  So our seemingly slow winter just got a little busier with 3-5 nights of hockey, coaches meetings and games.  

We feel extremely blessed to be home with the boys right now and we know we made the right choice for our family by bringing them home for the school year.  

Taking the Show on the Road

Traveling has always been hard for our family....well, let me back up.  Before Tyler and I had kids we loved to travel.  Back then we were always on the go.  Then we had our first son.  One baby didn't slow us down too much.  We still did all the things we liked to do, went to all the places we liked to go.  13 months after our first son was born, we had twins.  Premature twins at that.  Twins definitely slowed us down- adding 2 babies at a time is a little harder than adding 1 at a time.  Throw in autism on top of that and we were stranded. We slept very little and didn't know how to handle the things that would throw our child off track and the behaviors that were left in the wake. For several years we didn't go many places and when we did it was chaotic, frustrating and exhausting.  We tried to go camping as much as possible, something we have always loved to do and even then we didn't do that very much in those early years.  

Over the last few years our son, Charlie, has worked extremely hard during his therapies to learn skills that make life a little easier for him, to help him understand this world a little better.  In fact, our entire family has worked hard these last few years to figure out what works best for us.  We also added a service dog into the mix, Sunny, who has helped in more ways than we could have ever imagined.  

Friends, we recently got home from a 10 day road trip around Minnesota!  10 days traveling with our boys in our airstream camper and it couldn't have gone better than it did.  Since we incorporated our camper into each summer from the time the boys were little, it's like a second home to them.  It's where they are comfortable, especially Charlie who relies on things that are familiar to him.  Because of it's familiarity, when we do travel, we prefer to use our camper rather than various hotels.  For 10 days we stayed in 3 different campsites, visited 5 different state parks, hiked, fished, visited the Mississippi headwaters, spied a beaver in it's natural habitat, had nightly campfires, did a lot of stargazing and constellation identification, went geocaching, read a lot of Minnesota history, made lots of s'mores and even did homeschool on the road! 

Some things we think helped to make the trip go smoothly:

1. Every day we were very clear on our plan for the day and planned out things we knew the boys would love to do.  Sometimes we had to go over the plan several times. Sometimes our plans changed mid-day due to circumstances we had no control over and during those times we did our best to use skills we've learned to help us manage (rigidity is so hard some times).

2. We stayed busy, but also recognized when the boys had had enough and planned in down time.  One thing Tyler and I have learned over the years is to know our limits, when we can push those limits and when we need to stick to those limits.  I think we did really well reading those limits last week.  

3.  We involved Sunny with everything.  Since Sunny is Charlie's service dog, she goes everywhere he goes.  Sunny is Charlie's constant and something he can rely on to never change.  Sunny helped immensely with transitions throughout each day, being a constant when plans did change, calming with deep pressure therapy, riding safely in the truck, walking safely in public and so many other ways.  Honestly, we aren't sure the trip would have gone as well as it did if Sunny was not here for Charlie.  

4.  We took lots of breaks.  Charlie has always had trouble riding in the car, especially for long periods of time.  His threshold is about 1 hour before things start to go South.  Going into this trip Tyler and I knew we would need to take as many breaks as possible to avoid meltdowns every time we were in the vehicle.  Taking breaks along with having snacks, drinks and activities was a huge help.

5. Lots of patience and flexibility.  Tyler and I have learned to be extremely flexible over the years.  Plans we make often don't go the way we imagine.  Many times we may need to 'divide and conquer.' This often means one parent taking one child and the other parent taking the other two to do different activities.  It's not ideal, but sometimes it's what works best.  Or sometimes there are activities we would like to do with the boys and at the moment we go to do them, it may not be the right time or fit into how our day is going.  We've learned to accept these circumstances and roll with it.

I say this to tell you to never give up.  Never stop trying.  And if you haven't started working towards those scary goals yet, make a plan to take the first step.  We didn't get to this point easily.  It's taken a lot of hard work, a lot of trial and error and a whole bunch of other tries that didn't end well.  But this trip worked.  This trip was so much fun and so much good wrapped into 10 days. 

 

New Adventures

 Well, a lot has happened since our last update in July.  Schools are starting to announcing their plans for the year.  But this isn't a new conversation.  Tyler and I have been talking a lot about the school year for the past couple months; our concerns, our fears and how everything will impact our boys.  The unknown drives us crazy.  But as other schools have started to open up the past few weeks one thing is certain...the school year will be unlike any other year and no one knows what the future holds.  

Sunny snuggles are the best to stay regulated

We kept hearing talk of schools either going all day in person, total distance learning, or a hybrid of in person and online.  All of which could change in an instant depending on what the Covid numbers are like in our area.  There were draw backs to each option in our eyes.  Autism definitely throws a wrench in any of those plans along with the restrictions and new rules that go with them.  If they go in person there is no way Charlie will keep his mask on while at school.  He has a hard time wearing it for more than 10 minutes and most times triggers a meltdown.  I can't even imagine having to struggle with that each day.  And then there's the case of total distance learning or a combo of both.  The lack of routine that would go along with that would be brutal for a boy who thrives on routine and expectations.  With the real possibility and great likelihood of a school schedule changing from week to week and not having a solid routine to fall on would be an extreme form of torture for all of our boys.  None of these options are viable for our family.  So we did the only thing we thought would work the best for our kids.....

The dentist is not a fun trip to make

We decided to homeschool this year!  I'll be honest and say that this has been something that has been on my heart for a couple of years now.  To the point where I have researched all aspects of homeschooling extensively.  Which was actually pretty helpful because it made the jump to do homeschool less scary and I already had an idea of what I wanted to incorporate for lessons, schedule, routine, etc with my boys.  Now, getting it all put together is another story.  I've been working tirelessly the last couple weeks to get things organized and ready for us to start on 8/31.  

How do the boys feel about it?  They are actually very excited for it.  So excited, in fact, that Charlie asks me every day if we will start school tomorrow (despite having the start date circled on the calendar). Sure, I know everyday won't be perfect and lovely.  I totally understand that we will have hard days.  But being prepared for those days will help.  Giving myself and the boys a little grace will go a long way.  Will I be exhausted?  Most likely since I will still work part time from home in the afternoon/evenings.  But both Tyler and I feel this is the best option for our family.  And I actually think it will be wonderful.  Cheers to new adventures!

Making pancakes together