Finding that Balance

We are always aware of the need to spend separate time with each of our children- giving them that one on one time with mom or dad or both of us.  I think any parent of more than one child can agree it's sometimes difficult to find those one on one moments.  Granted, it gets more tricky with the more kids you have.  It's especially tricky when one of those children has needs that require so much of your time and energy just to stay regulated.  It's not fair to the other kids and we are very aware of this.  

Tyler and I are always looking for even the tiniest of moments to steal away with Easton and Christian- reading books together, working on various projects, going on a walk together, coloring with just mom or dad.  It's even better if we can steal away a few hours at a time!  One on one time during the week nights are really tough with our schedule so that's why long weekends like this one are great to sneak in a little date time with our other boys.  On Friday Easton got to go out with Tyler on his own, shopping at a man store and then out to dinner.  When they got back home they even had another hour or so to themselves to shoot bow and arrow while Charlie and Christian and I were out together.  These are all activities that we know fill Easton's cup and make him happy. 

Sunday was Christian's turn.  Christian got to head out with Tyler for a little bit on his own- running an errand and picking up a quick treat just the two of them.  Now, one thing to know about Christian is he is a total daddy's boy.  Any amount of time alone with dad and this boy is in heaven.  

Yes, that's a dried, dead fish....gross, I know.

When we can manage to do little dates with the boys like this it seems to put each boy into alignment and mellow them out.  The chaos is still there, but more mellow- hard to describe I guess. 

Big transitions coming up as the boys end their school year in 2 weeks and will then be home with a nanny 3 days/week.  Plus a packed summer schedule full of fun adventures.  More to come!!

Not Your Conventional Home

The last month has been a whirwind and full of different activities.  In the span of two weeks the boys went from sledding and building a snowman to riding bikes and playing at the park.  We made the best of the mid-April snow storms and got everyone out for some exercise.  But, we're glad Spring finally decided to show up in Minnesota.

Sunny loves to pull the boys in their sled

We were able to make it to the park several times this week.  Everyone enjoyed the sun and fresh air.  One of our trips to the park it was so fun to see how Sunny and Charlie interacted with each other.  We were the only people at the park.  After sniffing out the area, Sunny decided to seek out Charlie on the play equipment and went right on to the equipment to find him without any prompting or commands.  They ran around together, went down the slides together (yep, you read that right, Sunny goes down the slide) and had so much fun.

After running around for awhile, Charlie decided to play in the sand at the volleyball court.  Sunny settled in right next to him, again, with no prompting from me, and hung out with Charlie until it was time to go.

 Easton and Christian kept busy with a heated game of giant tic-tac-toe in the sand! I've never seen tic-tac-toe get so intense ;)

Christian and Charlie had a check up with their pediatrician and Sunny did a marvelous job at keeping Charlie calm and occupied.  Our visits to the pediatrician usually take a bit longer than normal since we have both of the boys seen at the same time.  This visit wasn't as chaotic and stressful as they usually are.  You can seen how calm and laid back Charlie is in the picture below.  He actually sat there and colored for 15 minutes or more.  That doesn't happen often with him!

Charlie recently got some new equipment to help him stay calm and get the sensory input he needs each day.  He loves using his new stretch sack....mostly to hide, but also to play in and stretch and push against slight resistance.  

In the picture below, Charlie is using his wiggle seat while eating at the table.  Sitting still to eat a full meal is a challenge and we've found the wiggle seat can give him a little wiggle room while sitting but not have to get up from the table and walk around.  He's staying at the table, so now to work on actually eating the food!!

Charlie got a compression shirt too.  It does exactly what the name implies....it's a tight spandex shirt that gives him compression around his arms and torso and helps him feel calm.  It's the tie-dye shirt he's wearing in the picture below.  I think we may need to order a few more because he loves wearing it (I may or may not have let him wear it a couple days in a row ;))!!  Sunny is giving him some added compression with her "full on" task where she lays on top of Charlie.

Between some of these fun "toys" (aka, Charlie's equipment) and the climbing wall in our living room, our house has become quite the playground.  The boys had a new friend from down the street visiting tonight and at one point the friend said "you guys are so lucky!"  We asked him why and he said "you have all this fun stuff....and that!" and pointed to the climbing wall.  We chuckled and agreed it's pretty cool.  He walked away with his hands in the air saying "that's just not natural!"  We agree, D, our house is definitely not conventional!

We can see Charlie and Sunny's bond growing each day.  It seems that no matter where Charlie is, Sunny isn't far away.  Tyler and I need to give Sunny commands when Charlie needs her to task, but she willingly goes to him on her own when Charlie is having a difficult time.  

Sunny watching the boys eat their dinner.  She NEVER once tries to take their food. She just lays there and watches.

Sunny continues to sleep with Charlie each night.  She is a great comfort to him.

Lap dog, anyone?!

Becoming good friends.

Not sure where we'd be as a family without Sunny in our lives.  God stepped in at the right time and gave us Mike & Sunny.  Charlie was meant to have his service dog now instead of 2 years from now, and he was meant to have Sunny.  There's a reason behind it all and God knows that reason.  She definitely makes all of us smile every day.....the goofball she is.

Not Just Any Dog

When we started looking into a service dog for Charlie we researched and researched different avenues, different training groups, funding, you name it.  We looked at no less than 10 different training groups to see if we were eligible to get a dog from them or if they would make a good fit with us.  We searched from Minnesota to Oregon, Oklahoma to Tennessee.  The only group that seemed like a good fit was a group in Minnesota called Can Do Canines.  So we made the decision to put Charlie's name on their wait list knowing that we needed to start the process even though our family dog was still alive at that time and helping Charlie. At the time we applied, we were told the wait list would likely be close to 2 years.  Can Do Canines needed more funding, more dogs and trainers for their Autism Support Dogs.

So we began the wait.  A little over a year on the wait list and our family dog, Tank, passed away at almost 13 years old.  Over the years Tank had became Charlie's best friend, his anchor.  We quickly saw a decline in Charlie after Tank was gone and we became nervous.  We knew Tank made a difference with Charlie but we didn't know the huge impact he had with him.  We contacted Can Do Canines to see where we were on the wait list and were told that we were #86 on the list and it would likely take another 2 years before our name would be at the top.  Not much we could do but continue to wait.  

Fortunately we found Mike Burkel a year ago and we were quickly able to change our plans and start training Sunny almost immediately.  We knew a service dog would be great for Charlie, but we didn't know the life changer it would be- not only for Charlie, but for our whole family.  Charlie is able to sleep better when Sunny sleeps with him, he can do car rides with ease, eating out at a restaurant is manageable and going into stores isn't as big of a challenge as they used to be.  These are just a few things that Sunny has made a huge difference with in Charlie's every day life.

Since Autism Awareness Month started a few days ago I've seen numerous articles and videos on all the websites and pages I follow.  This video I saw today grabbed my heart.  We know exactly how this family feels- it seems we've walked a similar road.  Even though we didn't get Sunny from Can Do Canines, they continue to serve others on the Spectrum with highly trained dogs.  These dogs are making a huge difference for these families.  They're not just any dog. 

Watch the video here:   https://youtu.be/1Y8azgYp4C8


On another note....someone is celebrating her 2nd birthday today!  Happy birthday Sunny!!  We are so happy you are with us and you've quickly become an important part of our family!