This Isn't a Staycation

Well, we've survived 2 weeks at home.  Our family has been social distancing at home with the exception of Tyler going to work every day.  I work from home while keeping the boys engaged every day.  This last week was technically their Spring Break.  On Wednesday Minnesota's Governor ordered a Stay At Home Executive Order which asks people to stay home as much as possible for at least the next two weeks, but which also closed the schools through May 3.  The boys will start distance learning from their school-issued iPads on Monday (3/30/2020).

As much as I'd like it to be, this isn't a staycation for our family.  This isn't a fun time where we have endless time every day to play games, do puzzles, complete house projects or have never-ending snuggles.  Nope.  Instead I am up well before dawn so I can get a couple hours of work in before the boys wake up.  Tyler is usually at work no later than 4:30am.  During the day I'm juggling work demands with the needs of the boys.  Yes, they are old enough to entertain themselves for awhile, and most days they have to when I have several conference calls in a day.  In the afternoon it's trying to get more work done after Tyler is home and sometimes working again in the evening after the boys go to bed.  Social work hasn't stopped during Covid-19- there's a lot we do that people don't even realize is going on.  The medical supplies Tyler makes at Mayo Clinic hasn't stopped either.  In fact, we are both more busy now than we ever have been at our jobs.  By the time the weekend rolls around, we are too exhausted to worry about house projects that we are supposed to have time for now.

We can roll with the punches.  We can deal with the changes.  Easton, I think, is loving this.  He is a homebody and prefers to be at home.  So all of this is no big deal for him.  Christian is so laid back that this change hasn't really phased him at all.  Charlie, on the other hand, has struggled the most.  A lot has changed for him.  His routine, which he thrives off of, has been thrown off it's axis.  His numerous therapies he has throughout the week have all stopped.  Yes, the therapies that have helped him so incredibly much throughout the years has been suspended the last two weeks and ongoing.

Charlie makes hard separations in his life; school takes place at school, home is home.  Even when school was in session it was hard to get him to do his homework because in his mind, school work should be done at school, not home.  But now, home is now many things.  It's not only home, but also school, OT, therapy and skills work.  This has been the hardest part of all these changes.  Tyler and I are not only parents, but we are now also the teacher, the therapist, the skills worker, the lunch lady, the physical education director and keeping up with regular household demands.  Yes, some of these roles have always been in place, but now the job description has changed to encompass all aspects of life.  With Charlie we focus on goals, keeping his body regulated, and navigating the increase in meltdowns to keep him safe. We work on sensory input throughout the day so his body doesn't feel so out of sorts. We work on social skills which is hard when you're social distancing. All the while trying to support and engage with Easton and Christian too.

Sunny's work has changed too.  Instead of doing a lot of work out in the community with Charlie, she is now doing all her work at home with him.  There are specific tasks she only does in the community that I fear she will lose because she is not using them consistently.  Over the last two weeks we have definitely went on plenty of walks which is where we'll have to start incorporating some of her community tasks so she remembers what they are.

I don't write this to complain.  I don't write this to get sympathy.  I simply want to put this out there so people can see that this blip in time isn't sunshine and roses for everyone.  This blog is meant to educate and show how we do life with autism.  And right now has been more challenging than we ever imagined. What I wouldn't give to be bored for a couple hours! We are trying to find peace and joy amidst the chaos every day.  It's the silence I hear early in the morning when most of the world is still asleep.  It's the first sip of coffee in the morning.  It's the family dinners together where we've had some really good conversations with the boys (even though this was something we did even before social distancing).  It's the long drawn out walks we take in the evenings as a last ditch effort to get some energy run off the boys (and Sunny).  This isn't a staycation.  Nope.  For us, this is survival.

A New Normal

Well, it's safe to say our week has been anything but normal!  Like most of you, we were given the news on Sunday that Minnesota schools would be closing this week, most no later than Wednesday, because of Covid-19.  Our school district decided to close effective Monday.  When I heard that news I knew we'd have to come up with a plan fast.  I had also found out that Charlie's therapies were being canceled indefinitely too.  A recipe for disaster, I tell ya.

Charlie thrives on routine and completely melts down if there is too much unstructured time.  So, Sunday I developed a schedule for my boys to keep them on track each day.  Charlie has been carrying the schedule around most days and checks in with it almost hourly.  He NEEDS to know what is coming.  He needs to know what is ahead and what he can expect.  There have been times we've had to tweak the schedule a bit because I am also working from home along with keeping them busy.

We wanted to keep the time educational- an unofficial homeschool.  We don't do school work ALL day and most of the time it doesn't feel like school at all.  But they are learning all the while.  Monday they did great, Tuesday was a little rough, Wednesday was just ok and today was actually pretty great.  I don't expect us to have amazing days every day, but just proud that we've done pretty darn good for our first week cooped up together.  We haven't left the house in 6 days except to take walks and play outside.

Here's a little taste of what we've done this week:

We've had lazy mornings with no demands of having anywhere to be.  Charlie loves this especially because he is not a morning person.  Instead, he can have as many Sunny snuggles as he needs in order to wake up for the day.

We've done science lessons online and visit the Cincinnati Zoo (virtually) where we learn about a new animal every day.  We do a lot of reading- individually and mom reads out loud to everyone. Sometimes their reading is as simple as positive affirmations about themselves that I've written out for them.  We incorporate living skills (cooking, baking, laundry, dishes, making beds, etc) that they need to learn anyway so might as well work on them now!

We have a lot of outdoor time every day to get our wiggles out and get fresh air.  Today was rainy and cold all day so we opted for rock climbing in the living room instead and yoga to stretch our muscles.  

We have online art classes every day where we learn to draw something new or learn a new art technique we haven't tried yet.  The boys especially love art time.  

We do science experiments and explore different topics the boys said they wanted to learn more about (volcanoes, frogs, how things work, etc).  We sit together and have great conversations along with lots and lots of snuggle time.

The boys have a small amount of screen time during the day and when they do they often do games together.  

Today's fun was learning about jellyfish and then making their own bioluminescent jelly fish!  The boys loved telling dad all the cool things they learned today from their jellyfish lesson and their visit to Cincinnati Zoo where they got some cool facts on Sloths.  

Along with the change of no school and no therapies is the change of mom working strictly from home and still expected to get a heavy workload done with three crazy boys as new co-workers.  Tyler's work schedule has also changed and so we are all trying to adjust to that as well.  

Sure, we've had intense moments.  There has been arguing, fighting, meltdowns and crying, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't any of that.  We are all dealing with a lot of change in a short amount of time for an indefinite period of time.  Who knows, maybe we'll come out of all of this a little stronger.