How is Sunny?

Since we started our journey in May to have a service dog trained for Charlie we get constant requests for updates on Sunny.  We love it.  Usually conversations start with "how are the boys doing? How is Sunny?"  She has quickly become a beloved member of our family.  We started working with the trainer in May and boy was it a busy Summer!  We were very involved in Sunny's training and we are glad we were.  We feel it gave us a better understanding of Sunny, her personality and what works for her.

For the last (almost) 2 months we've had Sunny living with us full time.  It's definitely been an adjustment period for everyone, including Sunny.  But I think everyone is getting more comfortable with one another and she's fitting in quite well.

We want to thank everyone again for their support during our fundraising efforts this Summer.  As of this week, Sunny is paid for!  We absolutely couldn't have done this without all of your support and kindness.  THANK YOU!

We are finding that Sunny is a great help to Charlie already and we've only just begun.  She's not only helpful to Charlie, but Easton and Christian respond well to her too.  Sunny is always watching the boys and wants to be near them.  Christian was home sick today and he got some sweet attention from Sunny to help him feel better.

Easton has been trying to get into the new school year routine which also now includes homework.  Homework has been a slight struggle but seems to be a little easier when Sunny listens to him read.

The last couple months training has slowed down with the trainer, and has shifted more to training and fine tuning skills with us.  In a few weeks Tyler and I will take the Public Access Test with Sunny to show that we know how to handle Sunny in public and that Sunny has the skills to be in public without being a danger or nuisance to others.  We feel strongly that we will all do fine on this test so until then we keep practicing the skills required to pass the test. The picture below looks like pure torture.  Trust me, I feel bad having to do it, but it's a must in order to pass her test.  She must be able to hold a stay command when someone drops food on the floor or someone sets a plate of food in front of her.  Well....she does it beautifully.  We'll continue to practice this one.  No worries, she got lots of treats and attention after this wonderful display!

Each day Charlie and Sunny seem to have more and more of a connection.  We have been assured that this connection could take up to a year or year and a half.  We never expected an instant click between the two of them and it really wasn't instant.  It has taken time but their love for each other seems evident.  The picture below is Sunny helping to apply pressure to Charlie's entire body to help him calm and regulate.  

Charlie often asks for Sunny's help or to be with her.  In this last picture he asked to take a picture with Sunny to send to great grandma since she hasn't met her yet.  He is very proud to have Sunny and loves introducing people to her.  

We can't wait to see what the future holds.

Don't Be Afraid to Embrace Autism

Nice weekend at the King household! Saturday was a lazy day spent at home.  Sunday brought church in the morning and a birthday party for all 3 boys to attend in the afternoon.  Normally drop offs at Sunday School are torturous- for both the boys and us parents.  Normally it's a drawn out ordeal with crying and hanging on mom or dad's leg.  These days, with Sunny, drop offs are running a  little smoother.  Charlie was a little hesitant but he walked right into his room, gave Sunny a hug (because Charlie cannot handle Sunny on his own-Sunny cannot stay in Sunday School with him and attends service with Tyler and I) and waved goodbye.  Wait, what?  Yep, smooth.  I could get used to this!

But then the birthday party.  Usually this is where things get a little dicey.  These types of gatherings are normally overwhelming for Charlie and while he can typically hold it together for most of the party- it's the aftermath that can be so hard to handle.  Most of the time Charlie gets so sensory overloaded and melts down.  Sunny came to the birthday party with us and Charlie checked in with Sunny every now and then during the party.  It came time to leave and I was braced for the meltdown to being on the drive home.  Nothing.  So we decided to be proactive and let Charlie and Sunny have some down time when we got home.  The 2 of them hung out together inside for awhile where it was quiet.  Then, guess what happened......nothing.  We went for a walk as a family, stopped to play at a park and played fetch with Sunny.  No meltdowns.  Nothing.  Thank you Sunny.

One reason we do this blog is to help raise awareness of life with autism.  While no two families experience is the same, there are a couple re-occurring themes we hear talked about among autism families and one of those is losing friendships.  Not all friendships are lost, but many are and for various reasons that Autism brings along in its chaotic path.  Some might feel uncomfortable when a meltdown is happening, not know how to relate to the family or that an invite to events puts too much stress on the family. While sometimes staying at home is easiest it's important to remember that these kiddos need real experiences and real interactions with others.  This is why we don't isolate ourselves.  Even though it's sometimes really hard to do certain activities- even downright exhausting, we still try.  That's why we're so grateful for the friends who have stuck by our side, continue to invite the boys to play or for birthday parties, invite our family for gatherings with friends, or remembering that mom and dad need adult time too.  Thank you.  

On the Right Track

The blog has been a little quiet since I was in Salt Lake City all last week for the doTERRA Global Convention.  I've been traveling for my business for the last few years and it's always hard.  All of the boys have a hard time with me being gone, but Charlie the most.  This year was a little different.  This year Sunny was here.

Usually when I'm traveling for business (because let's be honest, that's about the only time I travel on my own) I can expect multiple texts throughout the day, a phone call or FaceTime in the evening and the call ended by crying boys and a frustrated husband.  But this time I barely heard from them.  I would text Tyler and ask if anyone needed a phone call, but most of the time the response was "no, everyone's good."  WOW.  I have to admit, this mama's heart was a little crushed that no one wanted to talk, ha ha.  But on the other hand my heart rejoiced that everything at home was going so well.  Instead of frustrated texts and phone calls I got pictures like this....

Knowing that this sweet girl is helping my boy while I'm gone brings me so much joy.  I can't even tell you how much this helps reassure me when I can't be at home with my family.  Or pictures like this....

Man, they don't get along about 90% of the time, but it's moments like this that remind me that they are twins and that they do have an immeasurable bond.  Ssshhh, don't tell them they snuggle in the middle of the night, they don't know it ;)

We're still trying to figure things out with a service dog, but I know we're on the right track.  

Your Emotional Support Animal is NOT a Service Dog

We've come a long way since May when we started working with the trainer for Charlie's service dog, Sunny.  At that time Charlie had already been on a wait list for over a year to get a service dog through a different service dog group and knew he had at least another 2 years on that wait list.

Our experience has been worth it and I know it will keep getting better-we've only just begun.  But one common theme we've run into since having Sunny with us is the problem of people not understanding the difference between a true Service Dog and Emotional Support Animal or even a Therapy Animal.  And this misunderstanding is giving Service Dogs a bad reputation and down right dangerous and demeaning.  Just because you call your dog a Service Dog does not mean it actually is one.  And just because your dog went through some obedience training does not mean it can be a Service Dog.

Please take a minute and read our previous service dog post here.

We have run into several instances where people think it's ok to have their Emotional Support Animal in public with them or in areas where pets are not welcomed.  Emotional Support Animals do NOT have the same rights as a Service Dog.  The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) defines a service dog as "individually trained to do work or perform tasks for people with disabilities." If the sole purpose of the dog is to provide comfort or emotional support, they do not qualify as a service dog under ADA standards.  Emotional Support Animals generally provide a benefit by their presence alone and do not require heavy training like a Service Dog does.  The presence of untrained and poorly trained dogs in public poses a great risk and huge problems.  These untrained animals can become big distractions for working Service Dogs and makes it difficult for them to do their jobs for their owners, which in some cases can be dangerous.  For example, if there is an untrained dog in public with their owner and is barking at a Service Dog who alerts their owner of oncoming seizures and distracting the Service Dog, it makes it difficult for the Service Dog to focus on their owner and do their job to detect the seizures.  There is a really great post that talks all about this and the need to stop faking Service Dogs that you can read when you click here.  You can also read up on the ADA standards on Service Animals here.

Charlie's dog, Sunny, has been trained to perform various different tasks for Charlie that are specific to his disability.  

Sunny is trained to provide tactile pressure to Charlie when he is beginning to have or in the middle of a meltdown (many things can trigger a meltdown) and will help prevent him from self harm during these episodes.  In the picture below you can see the distress on Charlie's face as he's in the middle of a meltdown and Sunny is shown putting tactile pressure on Charlie to help him feel grounded and safe which then calms him.  

Traveling is hard for Charlie and car rides are terribly distressing to him.  This makes it hard for our family to go out and do things together.  Many times we have had to split the family and one parent takes the other boys to go do something while the other parent stays with Charlie.  This has become much easier with Sunny.  In the next picture you can see Sunny resting her head in Charlie's lap during a car ride.  This also give him some tactile pressure as well as calming and distracting during the card ride.  

Sunny also helps Charlie access the community.  Along with car rides, being out in the community can be very challenging for Charlie.  Loud noises, crowds of people and unfamiliar environments are very difficult for Charlie to handle-it's overwhelming and overstimulating to Charlie and Sunny makes that more manageable for him.  Sunny is Charlie's one constant throughout the day and helps him transition from task to task.  Even the transition from going from our main level in our house to downstairs can be hard for Charlie if he's not ready for that transition- something most of us don't even think about!  The picture below is of Charlie in the community with Sunny.  Sunny is doing her job to "block" Charlie at an intersection as we wait to cross the road.  

And sleep! Sleep is a common issue among kids with Autism.  Charlie did not start sleeping through the night until just last year at age 4.  And even now sleep is still hard.  But Sunny makes it a little easier for Charlie.  We are still working on Sunny sleeping with Charlie for longer periods of time, but for now she lays with him as he's falling asleep to make that transition in his day easier and calm him down.  

These are just a few tasks Sunny helps Charlie with each day.  Even though we're just getting started we've already seen a difference in Charlie.  He and Sunny are still working on their bond, but we see a small bond there already.  People who misrepresent their pets as Service Animals just so they can take them with them wherever they go is demeaning to those who actually NEED a Service Dog.  We went through and continue to go through TONS of training with Sunny so that she is ready to go with Charlie wherever she needs to.  We knew when we started all of this that we wanted to help educate others on Service Dogs.  Please share this post with others so we can help people understand that there is an important difference between Service Dogs and pets or even Emotional Support Animals.  

A great visual on the difference between a Service Dog, Therapy Dog or ESA.